Guys and Girls
by Edeline
Summary: This is based loosely on the film Alexander. There are no other stories like this that I can see in this category, as it is about a play rather than the actual events. Please read and see what you think.
1. Chapter 1

Hi. This is my first fanfic story and i have to say that it is very loosely based on the film _Alexander._ I'm just going to do this for the moment and then see how you like it. Please read and review and then I'll write more if youlike it.

**Guys and Girls**

**Sunday**

It was classic! One of those moments where you either wish the floor could swallow you up, or you collapse laughing.

The whole scenario was hilarious. We were rehearsing _Alexander,_ written by Steve and Sal and loosely based on the film. I was playing Alexander, which was unusual casting because I'm a girl. Sal had done as much research as possible to be as accurate as possible and then Ricky had held auditions. I didn't even audition. I just got asked to come along by Matt, a guy in my English lit class who belonged to the acting society. Once there, Ricky, the director, bullied me into getting up and improvising for Matt's audition for Hephaistion. Then he surprised everyone when he announced the parts by deciding that I should play Alexander. So there we were: I, Katie Ryan, was acting a gay guy from around 356 BC. Not really going to work, is it? Only it was. I was, if I say so myself, perfect for the part, if we could all just get into the right mindset.

But it was hilarious. We spent the whole rehearsal giggling. But then, that's how we spent every rehearsal, for this play and the next; collapsed in corners, shaking so hard we could not stand. And we were still alright on the night. Quite unbelievable really.

"You once told me, that I could search for eternity and still not find what it was that I was looking for, searching for with all my being. Well, I shall prove you wrong. I know what it is I search for and all my life I get a little closer to it. I have always known and when I have found it I shall always be remembered. Always be remembered. I knew that day-"

The door opening and closing in the kitchen interrupted my speech. We got it going again pretty well, we were getting used to people coming and going, what with rehearsing in the church hall. That was the one condition, we could make as much noise as we liked, but we shared the hall with others so we would be interrupted, and they may be listening.

Ricky continued directing us, unperturbed by the noise of the kettle and the coffee machine, men and women's voices.

"…and Philip comes on…" Silence. "…and Philip comes on…we're hoping…and yes, Philip _is_ here, aren't you Will?"

Will raced on, blushing.

"Start again."

I groaned, this scene was horrific.

"Okay, Katie…"

I repeated my speech; …"I knew that day, the day it began…"

"And Will…" Ricky murmured.

Will joined me and we walked on to the area we called stage (the centre of the room!) and said:

"What are you doing? I go alone."

"A little expression please, Katie."

I attempted to twist my face into an expression that said I cared.

"Very nice Katie." I could hear the laughter behind his words.

Will, as Philip, continued; "You want to come so that people will see you as my son and heir. You are not. Have I not done enough for you? Promised you enough? Today I go alone."

I watched him for a moment and he makes an impatient gesture. I turned slowly and walked, without looking back, to the back of the stage, then the length of the room. I could feel him watching me. Then Will turned away himself and walked forwards until "the crowd" could "see" him. They applaud and shout. Mark approaches him…and…stabs him. I waited for the groans of "the crowd" as a cue, before running back in panic. "Remember there will be walls Katie!"

I wasn't really listening, but doubled back and fell to my knees next to Philip/ Will. "Father!" I gasped, glancing furtively at the crown that had rolled just a little too far away. Others began to join me and there were a few screams. I looked up and made eye contact with my "mother". Thank goodness Clare had a straight face.

And now- Matt, as Hephaistion came running up and grabbed my arm without stopping, almost wrenching it out of its socket. "Argh!" I tried to get to my feet, stumbling forwards as he tried to raise my arm and shouted; "the King lives!" I raised my other arm and then we both pitched forwards, laughing.

"Oh God!"-Ricky.

"What's going on back there?"-Kitchen.

"Aww sugar!"-Me.

"S-sorry!"-Matt

The screen went up between the hall and the kitchen and concerned yet curious faces peered out.

"Can we help you?" Ricky was all calm politeness now. With the three of us on the floor, he appeared to be the one most in control. Having satisfied them that everything really was all right, the screen went back down again, and we assessed the scene.

"That was_ sooo _bad!"

"It would have helped if you paused before grabbed me."

"I can't. It's supposed to be simultaneous: I run up, I grab your hand."

"Well if I'm not looking at you, I'm not ready for it."

"Okay, okay." Ricky lifted his arms for attention. "Pause very slightly. And when you grab her, go up, not forwards. Lets try again."

So we did. And this time it worked. When Matt cried out: "The King lives!", something shattered in the kitchen; it was that good! So then we moved on after Ricky had yet another cup of coffee ("How many's that now? Seven?"), to the next scene.

"Okay, I'm not sure what I'm doing with this because I haven't talked to Jackie yet, but I don't think you can kiss because you are both playing men."

Andy looked up from his conversation with Clare. "Oh I meant to say-I talked to Jackie and she said it was okay because she is actually a girl. But you can't have the bit where Alexander kisses Roxanne because that _would_ be a girl kissing a girl."

"Great. I was thinking of getting rid of that scene anyway: it just didn't fit. Okay so…" Ricky considered for a moment. "Do you know the lines?"

Matt and I nodded. "Okay the rest of you can split now if you want." No one moved. On Sunday afternoons there wasn't much else to do. They settled down to watch.

And so we began:

Alexander: It is you I love, Hephaistion. No other.

Hephaistion: You're everything I care for and by the sweet breath of Aphrodite I'm so jealous of losing you to this world you want so badly.

Alexander: You'll never lose me Hephaistion. I'll be with you always till the end.

He looked at me with sorrow at the lie and I truly felt guilty, but I leant forward and embraced him hard. "Never." Our eyes met as I took his face in my hands, and then I kissed him. He kissed me back. And…

"Stop! That was way too romantic!"

I opened my eyes, only just aware that I had closed them. I met his again and they were way more serious than usual and we pulled apart.

Ricky continued as though nothing had happened which I guess was true: nothing _had _happened for him. "You look like a girl Katie. It was too feminine. You are king, act like it."

"Well I thought it was really sweet, really said with feeling. Anyone want a drink?" Clare was on her way to the kitchen.

"Please. But that's the thing. It just isn't supposed to be sweet. Can we try again or do either of you have to go?"

We both shook our heads: we both had all day.

We tried again. We had a break. And tried again. And again. And had another break. As we sat there, tired and unusually serious, Ricky paced. We registered vaguely that the kitchen was silent and the people must have gone over to the church.

"Ricky." He paused as I said quietly, "Why didn't you just get a guy to play Alexander? It would be right now if you had."

Ricky laughed, "You are the only member with blonde hair. Well,_ short_ blonde hair." He looked pointedly at Steve, whose blond hair went to his shoulders. We all laughed, and then Matt said; "But really it's because you are the best actor out of all of us. Ricky doesn't say because he thinks it'll hurt our feelings-but we all know it."

I blushed and tried to protest, but Clare, Andy and Will were nodding, along with the rest of the cast. Ricky smiled, "Oh, don't be so modest Katie. Everyone's great, but you might go somewhere and for some reason you were particularly suited to this part. Perhaps you should be worried! Besides, we couldn't do this whole scene if you were a guy. Even if we were allowed to, it would just be too weird!"

"Thanks!" I laughed with them and swept a bow to somehow diffuse the situation, but inside I was really surprised and genuinely touched.

I was glad to start again really and was desperate to get it right.

I didn't.

"It's just you look like a girl", mused Ricky. "Here, I've got an idea." He pulled off his jumper. "Put this on and it might help."

I laughed, "Anything's worth a try!" I pulled it on over my blouse. It practically drowned me: it had been big on him and I was smaller. But it did the trick, it covered up any curves and I guess with my jeans and short hair I looked like a guy, at least from the back.

This time I knew it was going to work. We drifted through our lines word perfect. I _was_ king this time and when we hugged it was a hug between men.

"Never," I said, meaning it. "Never!" We kissed. I was assertive and he followed. I knew it looked good, even before Ricky lost his cool.

"Wonderful! That was wonderful. Katie, Matt, awesome. I-I can't say enough. It was real, it looked good. It was-it was-believable!"

Matt and I broke apart and stood foolishly silent. Then laughing. I realised that he hadn't let go of my hand and felt myself going red.

Everyone was laughing and enthusing over the scene, but somewhere I heard a door bang and assumed it was Andy who didn't appear to be in the room.

Matt dropped my hand and raised his to me, saying in an obviously over the top way: "Yo Katie! That was awesome dude!"

I slapped his hand: "Totally awesome!" We laughed and then he did something completely unexpected, he kissed me. This time for real, I could feel the difference, a guy kissing a girl. Because he wanted to and not because it was in a script.

All other sounds faded out and it was just us for a few amazing moments.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, this is a bit shorter, but there is more to come if anyone is interested. Please read and review. I hope you enjoy it.**

_Then he did something completely unexpected, he kissed me. This time for real, I could feel the difference, a guy kissing a girl. Because he wanted to and not because it was in a script._

_All other sounds faded out and it was just us for a few amazing moments._

Ricky's whoop of delight crashed in. And then came his voice and I wished the floor would swallow me up.

I had my back to the kitchen screen, but I was vaguely aware that it had come up again and people were standing there, watching. As Matt held me there I heard a hesitant voice say, "I didn't realise _this_ was going on in the hall."

I spun around. Father Mark, the parish priest. "I thought this was the acting society, not…" Then he gasped and I heard a shriek from next to him and then giggling. Father Mark was standing there with my friend, and also the manager of the shop where I worked on Saturdays, Tess (the one shaking with uncontrollable giggles), her fiancé Tom and other people from church. I realised that they had thought I was a guy and had been surprised and shocked at seeing us kissing so openly. As the society realised that there was more laughter echoing Tess', even as those in the kitchen intoned in surprise, "Katie!"

Tess gasped for breath, "Gosh, they're good. I _told _you it wasn't anything funny! But I didn't know you were a member Katie."

How to explain? No need to ask. Ricky was in control.

"You've met already? How nice! This _is _the acting society and as the young lady says, we are doing well, you were quite taken in, weren't you?"

"Taken in? Taken in!" Father Mark looked apoplectic but Tess was laughing so hard she had to hold onto Tom.

Ricky has a strange charm that gets him anywhere. I guess it comes from spending time with us - after all, someone has to act sensibly. He spoke directly to Father Mark.

"Really it's not how you think." He put his arm around my shaking shoulders. "Katie is our best actress you know. This is rehearsals for _Alexander._ Katie's playing Alexander you know."

Tess gained some control. "Actually we didn't know. Why didn't you tell us? Katie?"

I tried to control my own face, with difficulty. "Oh, I only just joined. I didn't say anything because…because, well, I didn't think it mattered." Suddenly I found that I could not have laughed if I had tried. The innocent question needed an answer that I couldn't give. Absurdly, it _did_ matter. The whole thing mattered; why I hadn't told them. As if by telling them it would all have disappeared, all the fun we had, all my friends, all the possibilities, Matt.

I felt Ricky's hand drop from my shoulder and suddenly felt very much alone, as though I might cry. My legs felt unsteady and strangely I could feel the bruises from earlier. This was the side of me that no one really saw and I felt they had seen too much.

Then Matt's hand slipped into mine and squeezed tight. I stood straighter and felt stronger. Ricky and Andy burst out simultaneously, "I should think it matters!" "Of _course_ this matters!"

In the sudden flurry of activity I think that no one had noticed our linked hands, but then I looked up and caught Tess' eye. She grinned and took Tom's hand. "Hey, I think it's great! No big deal. Anyway come on. We've got our own show to run through." Somehow she bustles them all out without anymore questions, winking at me.

There is silence after they have gone. Then people began to laugh and joke again. Ricky called out that he thought we'd done enough for today and that we'd meet tomorrow. I was glad we had finished, not only because it would have been awkward running through the scene again after _that,_ but also because I had an essay to do for the next day. It's only after we left the hall that Matt and I found our tongues. We shifted awkwardly for a moment before settling on, "Goodbye." I turned to walk away, feeling him watching me. "Hey! I'll see you in English lit tomorrow, Katie?"

I turned back, he looks a little lost and I can't help the smile that lights up my face. "Best lesson of the week. Can't wait."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Very _long time with no installment but thought i'd come back to it. Hope anyone reading enjoys! Apologies for any offence at the somewhat light usage of the character Alexander in any part of the story.**

**Monday**

Matt and I are the only ones from the society to go to this college and he is in only one of my classes. This is just as well because otherwise neither of us would get much work done.

English lit. Third period out of four on a Monday. Also on Wednesdays and Fridays, second and first. Matt and I sat next to each other and drove the teacher mad with our constant talking. Today was no different. We laughed about the day before and he apologized for the bruise he had inflicted around my wrist. There was no mention of the whole kissing thing. It was like it never happened, or it was just rehearsals…

And at the end of the lesson: "See you tonight, Katie?"

"Sure, I'll be there." Nothing more.

Rehearsals in the evening were just as much fun, though slightly more serious. We all did college work between our parts and the acting was a bit more intense. We only rehearsed in the evening when we were getting close to a performance (only two weeks away!), but almost always met socially.

I was the first person to arrive that evening, straight from college, besides Jackie who always opened up in the evening. Jackie was actually head of the society, adult supervision and all that, even if it was Ricky who really led us and directed us.

"Hey Jackie!"

"Oh, hey Katie." She snapped on the lights of the main hall and went in. I dumped my bag and folder in the corner and walked over to where she had begun to inspect posters.

"Is that for the play?"

"Yes. They're good aren't they?"

I glanced at them. They were bold and bright. The words at the bottom caught my eye: _The slightly controversial play written by Sally Kennelly and Steven Holden._

"Is that necessary?"

"Yes." Ricky had come in and was looking over my shoulder. "People think we're like the CAAS."

"Are we not?" Then thinking about it, I asked; "What is the CAAS?"

"Children's Amateur Acting Society."

"Oh. Do _we _have a name like that?"

"_We_ are the SAS." I merely raised my eyebrows at him. "You mean you don't know?" He affected disbelief. "How long have you been a member of this society and you don't know what society you are part of?" He looked over at Andy just coming through the doors. "Can you believe it?" He sighed, "The Senior Acting Society. Try to keep up."

I stared at him and Andy snorted with suppressed laughter. "Load of rubbish, I know!"

By now most people had arrived. Tables were pulled out, chairs pulled up, the kettle went on and someone pulled out a packet of biscuits. Those who knew they were not needed straight away began to work or talk. Matt appeared and shot a smile at me across the room.

The rehearsal went generally quite well. Ricky decided to pick apart the scene where Alexander meets his future wife, Roxanne. Louisa and I tried hard, and unsuccessfully in Ricky's opinion, to act like we were attracted to each other and it was just as hard as the scene with Alexander and Hephaistion.

However, by the time it came round to 8.00 and we split it was pretty near perfect. Always a good feeling.

**Saturday**

Work on Saturday was as usual, except Tess was eager to hear about the play as soon as the shop was quiet and she had finished tidying her office-a task that was never completed and with which she started each Saturday.

She came out smiling, "Well, come on. Tell all. How did you get such an odd part? When is it on?"

I laughed, "I don't know how I got the part, but the dress rehearsal is tomorrow and the first performance is on Friday. Do you not read posters?" I indicated the one in the shop opposite.

"I guess not! It looks real fun. Are all the tickets sold yet?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, I want one. Two. Tom can come with me."

"Okay, I'll make sure you get them. It should be good-"

Andy, Will and Clare burst through the door at that moment. "Oh hey Katie. Jackie told us to tell you if we saw you, which we are doing right now-"

"In case you hadn't noticed!" interrupted Andy with a grin.

"-Not to come early tomorrow because Jackie's friend couldn't come to do your make-up. So you are just going to have to look like a girl, again."

"What do you mean, 'again'? Surely I look like a girl all the time!"

"You know what I mean," said Clare.

"Thanks," I muttered sarcastically.

"That's okay!"

"She'll be there on Friday though," interjected Will.

"So we'll see you at the Old Theatre tomorrow then? Don't forget to mess your lines-a bad dress rehearsal means a good first night."

"Okay."

They left as they came, quickly and noisily. The silence was loud after they had left. I turned back to Tess and realised that she was staring at me in surprise.

"I've never seen you like that before! So full of confidence." On impulse she hugged me. "It's great!"

Surprised in turn I hugged her back. "Uh…gee, thanks…"

Then we both laughed at each other.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! This has been quite a long time finishing, but i thought i'd just post it anyway. Enjoy if you read it. I know it gets a bit unrealistic towards the end!**

_Then we both laughed at each other._

**Sunday**

The dress rehearsal was supposed to begin at 3 so we arrived for make-up and tech at 1.30. It did not begin until 4.30. As usual we had fun and didn't mind but there were the usual dress rehearsal tensions:

"Where did you put the hair spray?"

"I've lost my headdress! I had it literally a second ago."

"I swear Jackie just gave me the crown and I can't find it anywhere. Ricky will kill me!"

"I am _not_ wearing eyeliner!"

"Shut up, for one second, that's all I'm asking."

"Here! The hair spray."

"I did _not _give you the crown. I gave it to Clare. Clare!"

"Argh! What did you just put in my eye? It kills!"

"For heavens sake! Stop acting like a baby."

And the inevitable: "Oh God Katie! You _still _look like a girl!"

"It's working for me," said Matt, walking past at that moment. I grinned at him and Ricky stared. "What?" Matt asked defensively, looking almost out of place with his cheerfulness. We laughed and relaxed slightly.

The whole dress rehearsal went badly like Clare had hoped. It began well and it was pretty cool to finally have the space and props, and of course the set and back drops. Our audience was the other half of the SAS, the Senior Art Society, according to Andy, who couldn't hide a grin. It was really awesome.

Acting on stage made it all seem real. I was the only one not in costume which was disappointing for me and Ricky, but as Jackie said, these things happen and it couldn't be helped.

I could feel the thrill of the half-empty theatre as I stood in the theatre as I stood in the wings next to Will and Clare. From the other side of the stage Andy (as Ptolomy) began to speak, unseen, introducing the play. His voice was steady and measured.

"His tragedy was one of increasing loneliness and impatience with those who could not understand him, and if his desire to unite Greek and barbarian ended in failure...what failure? His failure towered over other men's successes. I've lived... I've lived a long life. But the glory and the memory of man will always belong to the ones who follow their great visions. And the greatest of these is the one they now... call "Megas Alexandros" - the greatest Alexander of them all."

There was a beat of silence and then, grinning at me, Will and Clare walked onto the stage. It had begun.

From there it went downhill. When Matt grabbed me and shouted; "the King lives!" he somehow managed to sprain my wrist. Actually, the audience and Ricky didn't notice anything was wrong so I guess it just went downhill for the cast. Apparently my face twisting in pain looked like a shock of emotions and Matt's, "Oh God, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" was like whispered encouragement. It made the performance better!

Next, the scene with Louisa was awful as I forgot my lines and we were reduced to staring at each other uncomfortably and somewhat awkwardly. I found it incredibly hard to improvise any believable lines in that situation, but luckily Louisa was amazing and saved the performance just by completely being Roxanne and staying in character. The bit where Steve attempts to kill me was, Ricky said, the best acted scene. Incredibly painful for me though! I couldn't stop the cry of pain as he pushed my arms above my head. What the audience didn't see was my closed eyes and Steve's concerned face.

We didn't mention my wrist in the interval between acts because we all knew how much it meant to Ricky that we finished. This resulted in me fainting rather than acting in the death scene. I was completely out of it as Andy wafted incense around. I came round to applause and much enthusiasm from Ricky and concern from the rest of the cast. Oh, what we suffer to make these things happen!

Unsurprisingly, Jackie was livid when she found out, shouting alternatively at me, then Ricky and then the rest of the cast. And Ricky still had the audacity to say to me as we left: "Awesome Katie! Well done. Reckon you could do that again next week?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Friday night**

So according to Clare, tonight should be pretty good after the appalling dress rehearsal we had last week. The curtain went up at 7.30. It was a totally amazing night - a dream, but almost painfully real.

I went to the Old Theatre straight from college. I had planned to walk down with Matt, but since he already looked like a guy his make-up shouldn't take as long as mine.

My wrist, thankfully, had recovered enough. I had done almost no writing all week and now the bandage would have to be taken off. I knew Matt and Andy were nervous about grabbing hold of it. Truth be told, I was nervous too.

I slipped in the back doors and moved down the draughty corridor to where I could hear voices. I pushed open the door of the old dressing room that had been used in hundreds of productions before this. Jackie and her friend stood waiting for me. Really, it was like an operation. They both smiled at me.

"Katie. This is Mandy. She's going to attempt to turn you into a guy."

Strangely, because I seldom like meeting new people, I liked Mandy instantly. She was younger than Jackie, perhaps six, seven years older than me. "Good luck!" I joked.

Jackie grinned at me. "Maybe you're the one who needs luck. Okay, I've got to go now; the others should be arriving soon. And I expect that at least once over the course of this evening I shall have to prevent Ricky from having a heart attack!" We could both imagine that. Jackie went over to the door. "You have two hours till tech. Good luck." She was gone.

"Okay Katie. Let me take your coat. Don't worry about a thing. You are going to look great!"

Half an hour later. I could hear the others banging about in the corridor and neighbouring rooms. There was a knocking on the door, but Mandy had locked it and completely ignored all noises. She kept up a stream of conversation that I could barely respond to. "So…First play huh? Or were you in the last? I don't remember seeing you. I helped out with that one too. Ricky really picks them, last time he wanted dwarves and stuff, for _The Hobbit_ you know? All that make-up and paper-mache! Bit different this time!"

An hour later. Mandy finally let me look in the mirror. I don't know what she did ("my secret", she said winking), won't even begin to try and describe all the creams and hair products, but-I _looked _like a guy. "Wow! I even feel different!" She laughed at my amazement and that got me going. It was just like, _finally._

I studied myself in the mirror. My costume was just a simple tunic and my face was still my face, my hair short, kind of floppy and blonde. But I looked like a young boy. I wondered how she would make me look like a thirty-two year old man and she read my thoughts.

"Your clothes should make you look bigger and some different make-up should make you look older. I guess Ricky had a slight Alexander in mind when he cast you."

"Thanks. It's really awesome!"

She leant back against the table, "Aren't you going to show everyone then?"

I opened the door. Everyone had spilled out onto the corridor. It was like the dress rehearsal, but oddly there was more laughter.

Andy was first to see me and grabbing Matt came running over, both dressed similarly to me in white tunics and sandals. "Hey Katie! You look really cool."

"Yeah." Matt agreed. "I feel like I should start calling you Alex!"

"Wait till Ricky sees you!"

Where Ricky was though, we didn't know. We went into a quiet room to escape the chaos of the corridor. We had barely been there ten minutes when Steve stuck his head round the door: "Hey guys. We're ready to do tech, so if you could go on up and-hey! Where did Katie go?" He laughed, "That's so cool. Anyway see you in a second."

We headed up to the stage. There was none of the chaos of the dressing rooms up here and it was way more organised than the dress rehearsal. Everyone stood grouped round and about, talking quietly. We went over to join Will and Clare, Clare in a long white tunic with a dark red robe over the top for the first act and Will in a dark cloak. They both exclaimed over me. Then others began to come over and it was a really great feeling: we were all about to do something really important and we felt really close.

"Okay guys!" Ricky jumped onto the stage. "Let's just run through the scenes with music while they sort out the lighting." I could see Jackie grinning behind him. "Is Katie here? Matt, can you go get her?"

"Sure!" Matt, smiling slightly, took my arm and pushed me forwards. "Here's Alex."

And at last, after all this, he said: "Oh God Katie! You finally look like a guy!" We all laughed.

There wasn't much time left as we raced through tech and we were just leaving the stage when we heard the sounds of people arriving behind the heavy curtain. We couldn't stop the grins; we were high on life.

After the bright lights and warmth of the stage, the back corridors were freezing and dark. There was silence now as we got prepared to go on. Quick smiles and whispered encouragement.

In the wings, next to Clare and Will, waiting for curtain up. Andy's voice across the hushed and darkened auditorium. The heavy curtain swinging upwards. Will and Clare leaving my side. The lights on stage coming on. Magic. Finally, after what seemed like hours, I walked on, from the front left and met Hephaistion coming from the back left. From the back right Ptolemy was coming towards us and Matt said: "Would you want me to let you win, Alexander?"

"No. But I promise you; one day I will beat you, Hephaistion." I gave Hephaistion a hard push, even as my Mother and Father paused in their argument.

I came off after the first scene, leaving Will and Clare still arguing. Matt and I had our arms round each other and we only dropped them when we were well into the wings. He took my wrist, "Ready for the next scene?"

"Sure." I was still in a daze. He shoved a bottle of water into my hands and I drank deeply.

Ricky's head appeared from out of nowhere. "Okay. You're on…now." He wasn't panicking now that it mattered.

I left the wings with Matt and approached Will. This was "The King lives" scene. It went surprisingly well. We were all so much in character that there were no pauses, even when Matt wrenched my wrist again I hardly noticed. The applause was amazing as the scene changed. We just stood in the wings, trembling from pain, exhaustion and exhilaration.

We stayed silent until we reached the dressing rooms and then we erupted in laughter, just anything to let out our feelings.

Mandy pulled me to one side, saying: "Well done! Now time for stage two!"

I never really thought honestly that I could look like a man, but when Mandy was finished-"Oh help!" I gasped. "It's unreal!"

Mandy laughed modestly, "Only from a distance. Eyeliner, quick. Stay still." The break was over.

On again. Word perfect through the scene with Roxanne, I mean Louisa. Will said that it was almost too good, considering who I was. He swung my cloak around my shoulders and pushed me on again. Steve tried to kill me, it was fine, wonderful. Well, it was lucky that it was the end of the act because we were hysterical and had to fly down the stairs and leg it back to the corridor before we could let out our shrieks of laughter.

Mandy left during the interval, wishing me good luck as she literally flew out. "Darling, you are doing great. I want to watch the rest from the front. Keep it up. Eat something."

Our main group collapsed in my dressing room. Still hyper but tired and hungry. We ate ravenously until Jackie poked her head round the door to tell us to get back to the wings.

Looking back, the whole performance seems perfect. It wasn't, but that doesn't matter because the memories are amazing and we stuck with it and _made_ it work.

We stayed in character through the second act and only felt the pain of the characters, not our own physical pain. When Hephaistion died I knelt by him as he said: "I worry for you without me."

With tears tickling down my cheeks I sob: "I am nothing without you." Sal accidentally knocked me. I fell backwards onto my wrist, but the tears that pricked my eyes and trickled down my cheeks were for a dead friend, a lost love. I regained my balance as I got to my feet, shouting at Andy who stood steady as a rock.

When it was my turn to die we were all exhausted and our movements were slow, like moving through syrup, but it was solemnity for a king who had been greater than any other. The curtain swung down and we were up straight away, pushing the bed and props aside. The house lights came up as the rest of the cast spilled out of the wings and onto the stage. Suddenly it felt like the volume had been turned up-I could hear the thunderous applause, everyone laughing. I could see Ricky hugging Jackie in the wings.

Andy and Matt grabbed my hands, Matt incredibly gentle with my wrist, and we dashed up to the back of the stage. The curtain came up and we were running forwards. I could see Tess and Tom, my eyes drawn to them, and caught her eye. She grinned and raised her eyebrows at Matt next to me, I pretended not to notice. Ricky and Jackie eventually came out on stage and more applause met them.

The curtain hit the stage for the last time and we stood there in stunned silence. People could be heard leaving and it felt like a dream. Andy dropped my hand and turned to Will and Clare. I could feel Matt looking at me and he took both my hands. Our eyes met for one long moment and I thought of the kiss in the church hall…

Steve was the first to really move. He let out a half strangled cry and Ricky hurriedly put his finger to his lips. Suddenly we all wanted to scream and shout. Matt dropped one of my hands and Andy promptly grabbed it as well as Clare's, who in turn grabbed Will's. Linked like this we fled down the stairs to the dark corridors where we literally shrieked and screamed. It was a release of tension, to breathe again. Matt did not let go of my hand. Ricky looked shell shocked and Jackie said to him: "Looking forward to doing it again tomorrow?"

Ricky grinned widely, "Oh yeah! It's the best feeling in the world. I could never get tired of it."

Next thing we knew the back rooms were beginning to be filled with parents and well wishers. My parents were away so I drifted away as Matt and Andy were dragged off. But I had visitors of my own. Tess and Tom had not forgotten me. I pulled them into a corner of my dressing room, away from Clare and Will. Suddenly I was silent. I really wanted Tess to understand everything without being told. It's like being asked what's wrong and saying nothing because you don't _know_ what's wrong. I just wanted her to know. And, of course, she did. "Hey Katie?" she said, "That was totally awesome!" And she held up her hand which I slapped with laugh. Then she just gave me a huge hug and whispered in my ear so that Tom didn't hear: "I think he likes you. Even if you look like a guy."

"Do you really think?" I murmured.

"Of course." She straightened. "So, well done. So I guess you can tell me all about it tomorrow."

I glanced at her. "Huh? Tell you about what? When?"

"Tonight, idiot, at work! " And she winked.

It was a short visit but it made me feel okay, like everything wasn't necessarily going to flatten out again.

I began to take my make-up off slowly and then Ricky stuck his head round the door. "Hey Katie, Will, Clare, are you coming to get something to eat?"

"What time is it?"

"Ten thirty, but somewhere will be open. Hurry up."

I like it that he doesn't think we'll say no.

Will goes off to join the guys and Clare only takes five minutes. "Hey," I turn to her, "Go on without me and I'll be up in a second."

Then I'm alone. I try to get it off as fast as I can, then give up and change my clothes. I'm making a second attempt when Matt comes in.

"Hey. I just volunteered to find you. What's keeping you?"

I laughed. "Waterproof eye make-up!"

"You look pretty with your eyes big and black like that. Better now that you look like a girl again.

"I _am_ a girl!" I said indignantly.

"Maybe that's why you look better!"

"Okay, I'll trust you this once." I grab my bag and turn, bumping into him.

"Like I said before, you being a girl is working for me."

And when he kissed me again, there was no one to look and no one to laugh.

Then he grabbed my hand and I suppressed a yelp as it was my sprained wrist and, apologising all the way, we made our way to where the others were waiting. As we headed off down the street I had never felt so close to anyone, with Matt's hand on my sleeve and Clare, Andy and Will all talking at once.

There, I said we were always alright on the night.


End file.
